'Nightmare is alive': Saskatoon man from Russia disavows invasion

Oleg Kougiya says he was once proud of his homeland.

Now, after Russia's invasion of Ukraine, he has mixed feelings.

"Russia and Ukraine are two of the closest neighbour countries you can imagine. In my personal opinion, it's probably one of the darkest pages that would ever be written between those countries," he said.

Kougiya was born in Leningrad, USSR — a city later renamed St. Petersburg, Russia.

"I witnessed in person how the Soviet Union fell apart and how the two independent states were formed," he said.

In the early 2000s, his family moved to Saskatoon. He now lives here with his two Canadian daughters.

To watch the events unfolding in Ukraine, Kougiya says he could not imagine how "deeply impacted" he and his family would be.

He says he admires those who have taken to the streets in Russia to protest, risking punishment from the government.

"People are terrified to express their attitude and protest because every time you go outside, and you go to the local city hall or any government building, you are risking at least two weeks in jail if not two years," he said.

Since the war broke out, thousands of anti-war Russians have been arrested. Kougiya said of the 50 people in his inner circle only one believes that "maybe the war was necessary."

Kougiya points to the casualties the country suffered in World War Two, which according to the National World War II Museum was 24 million, the most of any country.

He says the thought of starting a new war is many Russians' worst nightmare.

"Unfortunately this nightmare is alive, here it is now. It started and it has to come to a stop," he said.

Most media outlets across Russia have followed state orders to toe President Vladimir Putin's line, for example by not calling Russia's invasion of Ukraine an "invasion."

The global live-stream of Russia Today refers to it as a "special operation," echoing Putin's words instead of "war."

"When you only have one source of information, in the whole country, that's obviously going to affect a lot of people," Kougiya said.

Markian Dobczansky, an expert in Russian Soviet history at the Harvard Ukrainian Research Institute, said most Russians are going to believe what the regime tells them.

"If Russians knew the true cost to Ukraine of this war, they would never accept it," Dobczansky said.

With Associated Press and CNN files