Warning: This story contains graphic content
Cpl. Jared Clarke has worked more than 1,000 child porn investigations and viewed more than 1 million videos and images, but there's one case that pushed him over the edge.
“Sometimes the images, the videos they don’t leave your head. You can’t get them out,” he told CTV News. “This collection took it to another level. When you’re dealing with bodily harm being inflicted to innocent children, it’s tough stuff.”
Clarke and the Saskatchewan Internet Child Exploitation Unit began investigating Philip Chicoine in March. Chicoine was sentenced to 12 years in prison, the longest sentence for child porn-related charges in Saskatchewan’s history, on Tuesday.
Chicoine pleaded guilty in April to 40 child pornography-related charges, including possessing and distributing child pornography, child luring and agreeing to make child pornography. Court heard he paid $23,000 for photos, videos and the livestreaming of abuse he directed. His collection of almost 5,000 different files included sexual violence against babies and toddlers.
When criminal cases go through the courts, the evidence is seen and heard by everyone in the courtroom: investigators, lawyers, judges, reporters, family members and court staff. Psychologist Danielle McFadyen said that’s when some can experience secondary trauma.
“It’s hearing somebody else's story and having that come on and impact you,” she explained. “When you're constantly being faced with trauma, it does get really easy to take that on and feeling some of the physical impacts of that and the emotional impacts.”
Clarke said he had trouble dealing with the case and the pressure knowing children were being abused. He experienced nightmares, flashbacks, anger outbursts and physical signs like anxiety and chest pains. He said he deals with triggers, like his own children crying, that bring the investigation back to the forefront. People close to him noticed certain warning signs and that’s when he knew he needed to seek professional help.
“That kind of stuff kind of made me go, ‘Woah, woah, woah, let’s get this under control,’” he said.
Clarke now sees a psychologist, which he says is helpful. He also credits his colleagues, the RCMP’s mental health resources and those close to him who encouraged him to see a psychologist. At first, he had a difficult time overcoming the stigma of seeking help, but he’s now sharing his experience in hopes it encourages others who may need help but are afraid or feel alone.
“If I can help them overstep that and not go through some of the tough stuff I had to, all the better.”
He said while saving children is rewarding, there comes a time for everyone to leave the ICE Unit and, after six years and some tough cases, he now feels ready to move on in the next year or two. But, some of the trauma will never leave him, he said.
